Christmas Blues?

During my drive home from school, the dj reported that we would be having "indoor recess" today, as it's too rainy to hit the playground. That made me laugh, and good timing on that. I was right in the middle of pondering the reason(s) for my sudden impulse to burst into tears, which hit me about quarter to twelve, as Chef was giving his daily end-of-class wrap up.

We started the day with a projected photo of Chef's dinner from last night, a close-up of a stuffed leg of lamb on a bed of roasted root vegetables. He went through his process in detail, and I added "roast" to the shopping list that I was working on before class started. We got our nutrition mid-terms back (94%) and then took the written kitchen final, another 50 multiple choice questions that were totally easy. We spent some time with our partners, strategizing our cooking plan for today's two-dish final (day one of two): roast chicken, poached salmon. Aaron impressed me by sharing a written plan of attack, including a list for each of us of equipment and ingredients to gather before we get started.

Nothing too tricky. Preheat the oven, sauté the onions for the pilaf, prepare the root vegetables to accompany the chicken. Season and sear the chicken, add the vegetables, pop it in the oven, add wine 10 minutes later, add stock 15 minutes after that; make sure it's cooked, then make a stock from the pan drippings. Meanwhile, finish the pilaf, poach the salmon and zucchini, season the zucchini, make the beurre blanc sauce for the fish, plate and serve. We got 40 out of 50 points on the salmon, because the sauce was not thick enough, and because Chef said he had some undercooked rice. I subsequently ate four big spoonsful of rice and it all seemed consistently and fully cooked to me, but there's no arguing with the Chef.

Our chicken took FOREVER to finish in the oven, at least 15 minutes longer than the estimated 30 minutes as per Chef's demonstration, but we were warned that undercooked chicken would result in zero points. We ended up with 46 on that dish, a couple points missing for thick sauce (it's always something) and for a nicely turned carrot that was slightly underdone. So a B for the day's efforts, and food that was incredibly edible (I know, because we ate it during kitchen clean-up).

Before he dismissed us, Chef told the class that he was generally disappointed with our results today. (I know one team scored a 98, and another a 93, but the other three teams were significantly below us.) His palatable disappointment is what set me off, and I hurried to get out of class, gather my gear from my locker, and head to my car, without talking to anyone. With the rain falling steadily, I no longer had the need or ability to keep my face dry, so gave in. And what exactly was the issue? Not the B, even though my son asked how I did, then IM'd "86? not 90?" when I reported my results. No, I think I'm past that. Maybe it's the recurring realization that sometimes good does not mean always good. And sometimes great doesn't even mean always good. Maybe it's accumulated sleep depravation. The alarm, set for 5:25, has not gone off one single morning in the last six weeks. I am always awake, waiting for 5:19 to change to 5:20, then I get up and turn off the alarm. Maybe it's disappointment that my brother and his family have had their travel plans thwarted by Mother Nature, and will be spending the holidays at home in Denver instead of with us.

Then again, maybe it's just "inside recess". One of the best remedies for pent-up tears is the right movie, so I'm off to wrap presents and watch "Love Actually", and that might just do the trick. Tomorrow: veal scallopini, grilled pork chops.