What's That Sound?

The alarm went off this morning, for the first time ever since I started the program on November 13th. I did stay up late last night though: it was Grammy night.

As I was walking into the student dining hall, where there was (as usual) no coffee at 6:30 am, the thought arrived unbidden: Why am I doing this?

I spent all weekend working on cooking or writing projects, so much so that I was feeling "away from home" guilt even though I was here. David was kind enough to help me on the canapé practice in preparation for today's competency exam. I started by toasting circles of bread and mixing Stilton with some crème fraîche (to make it more spreadable) and some finely chopped walnuts. I also caramelized some red onions, a process that takes at least a half hour (remember that for the exam, we'll only have 60 minutes). And I cut some chives into equal-sized sprigs. After spreading the toasts with the cheese, I tried to figure out a way to make a small identical pile of onions on each one, even resorting to curling an onion string around a chopstick, and then sliding it off. I consulted with my in-home advisor and aborted the onion plan for a simpler one: one half of a red grape, cut side up, with the chive tucked in on one side. I made them; they looked good; we ate them: with vodka martinis. Of course, David, the purist, said "I'm having some trouble giving advice on this, because I'd much rather have plain Stilton on a cracker," but that's not a choice you get at a hoity-toity cocktail party.

We began the competency exam first thing this morning. I substituted some white pita for the sourdough bread that I used at home, which worked well: the pita is more dense and held its shape during toasting. The sourdough "warped," for lack of a more appropriate culinary term. And we had no chives in the kitchen, so I slivered up some green onion tops, and they worked well. We had to arrange ten identical canapés (on a lovely paper plate) and leave them in front of the Chef, who then examined them, picked one up and turned it over, and tasted one. I got full points for taste, consistency, and presentation, as did most of the class. We took two great big platters of canapés to Chef Joseph's class, and, in front of his assembled newbies, he asked us a few leading questions: "How important is it to use sharp knives? How important is it that you master your knife skills?"

Our plan today, after the competency exam and break, was to do today's production work (we're on the vegetarian team, so our task is to make salad dressings, in gallon quantities: two today), and meet as a team to plan this week's work. We're having a class buffet on Wednesday and need to prepare examples of everything we've done in class so far. Team representatives got together to divide the work load (I carried the banner for Team Vegetarian). We'll be making a fruit platter, an antipasto tray, a crudité tray, several kinds of canapés, and a compound salad (we'll make the wheatberry salad that we made in week one). While we were strategizing and making a grocery list (well, it's really a supply requisition), a commotion arose at table two where the seafood team was gathered. Dava's voice grew shrill and suddenly there was yelling. I looked over at Chef Duffy: he tucked his glasses into his coat, sighed deeply, and said, "Oh dear," and gathered them together out in the hall.

Of course, all the buzz inside the classroom was about what had just transpired, which was not really clear to anybody, except that there were various and sundry non-complementary personalities at play. As the hall meeting dragged on, we began cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes and putting supplies away. After about twenty minutes, the group returned to the classroom, and Chef demonstrated forcemeat.

After class, several of us stood around and did some noshing — there was pork chile colorado, and pinto beans, and bread pudding — à la the staff meal at restaurants. The only member of Team Seafood still around was Jordan, who was huddling with Chef over the plan for Wednesday, apparently trying to get organized. "You don't have to take the heat," Chef said to him. "I'll be the bearer of the news, and if anyone is upset, they can be upset at me."