"I'm gonna call my mother."

Tashana was beaming as she strode into the elevator after class this afternoon. "I'm gonna tell her that I got yelled at by a French Chef! And I can handle it!"

It all started with the crème anglaise, made to accompany the apple strudel. Chef Alain started hollering when he saw Tashana stirring her bowl of cream and eggs over a double boiler. "What are you doing? Did no one teach you how to properly make crème anglais?" He made her start over, so that he could demonstrate the "right" way. She began by separating the eggs, cradling the yolks in one hand and letting the whites drain out, as Chef Judy had instructed us. From the other side of the room, Chef began yelling again. "NEVER TOUCH THE EGG WITH YOUR HANDS!" He said the "right" way is the juggling method, where you pass the yolk back and forth between the two halves of shell until the white drained out. We told him that, according to Chef Judy, the shell method was "housewifey." He began muttering under his breath. I swear I heard him say "Sacrebleu." For the crème anglais, you beat the sugar and yolks together, bring the milk to a boil in a saucepan, then temper the eggs and add them to the milk. You cook directly over the heat. "It takes two seconds," Chef said. None of this messing about with a double boiler.

Meanwhile, Julian was peeling apples the "correct" way. With a paring knife, you "spin" off the top and bottom peel, then cut strips of peel off between the top and the bottom, all the way around. Then you cut the apple in half, remove the core halves with a melon baller, then trim the stem and flower ends with a little V cut. I've peeled dozens of dozens of apples in my life. I've never once done it the correct way.

It was German day in European Cuisine, and we had a menu full of pork and starch. Soup was potato/bacon, with tiny diced carrots, celery root, potatoes, and bacon in a chicken stock. Andy, Andrea and I made veal schnitzel, breaded and fried ahead of time and then reheated briefly, garnished with chopped hardboiled egg whites and yolks, green olives stuffed with capers, and anchovies. We also made fried potatoes with sautéed onion and more bacon. Rudy was part of the sauerkraut/pork roast/ham team, the kraut simmering briefly in juniper berry-infused water in place of the preferable beer, then braised in the oven with the meats. Derrick made spaetzel, a process he compared to playing with playdoh, but without the star or moon shaped cutters. Julian and Tashana struggled through the strudel and crème anglais process, which reached another crescendo when Chef discovered that no clarified butter had been prepared. Regular melted butter has too much water in it; it makes the filo dough too wet.

"Of course, I'm not saying this for your benefit, because you are here," Chef said at 7am. "But if you are late three times, I will send you OUT. I will not tolerate this." There's a lot he won't tolerate. But we're hanging in there.